The Health Benefits of Putting Your Fat Wife On a Diet

Putting a Fat Wife On a Diet Can Be Even More Effective Than Fat Shaming Her Into Weight Loss

Before I continue, I want to make one thing perfectly clear.  I am not here to shame anyone.  I don’t agree with body shaming, fat shaming, stink shaming, slut shaming, dumb shaming, ugly shaming, Trump shaming, or any kind shaming for that matter.  Fat shaming doesn’t even help people lose weight. In fact it stresses fat people out and actually makes them eat even more and gain even more weight.

No one should ever feel embarrassed about who they are or how much they weigh, but let’s be honest, fat people are disgusting and funny looking.  That is why it’s ok to be fat if your a comedian like Gabriel Iglesias, or a sumo wrestler like Yokozuna , or the lady in the jazzy wearing the shit bag that me and my kids made fun of in Walmart last week.   She was great for laughing at and taking pictures of to send to all my friends, but not exactly what anyone would call marriage material.

DO All Fat Wives Need to Go On a Diet?

The short answer is no. Some men are actually attracted to fat women.  I saw a documentary on guys who had fat fetishes.  It is perfectly ok for a woman to be fat if she is married to one of these men.  And sometimes a man has no choice but to marry a fat woman. He might be poor, ugly, or even fat himself.  In those cases it is perfectly ok for a wife to be fat until death do you part.

The only wives who really need to go on a diet are the ones who got fat after they said thier vows.  When you said, “I do.” That didnt mean you do love bacon and you do gain 100 pounds.  The worst thing a wife can do in a marriage is get fat.  That is the ultimate betrayal and deception in a marriage.  Imagine you went to the store and bought your favorite ice cream, only to come home to find out that your Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey had turned into a can of sardines.   Or imagine you went out and bought yourself a brand new Mercedes. After a few years you wake up one day and realze it turned into beat up old Chevette with a missing hubcap and a fat chick in the passanger seat.

What is the Best Diet to Make My Fat Wife Go On?

In this image conscious diet obsessed world we live in there are no excuse for a woman to get fat.  There are all kinds of new trendy diets women can go on to stay skinny for their man.  You have the Atkins, the Paleo, bulimia, anorexia. The list goes on and on.

There is a diet out there for everyone.  In fact, there are even surgeries for people who dont like things such as diets or will power. There are even diet pills out there for the fat people who like drugs.  These diet pills are actually speed so they will even give your wife a little more energy to clean the house or do some laundry.  Ladies, before you start gaining weight and letting yourself go, think about the person who you are really hurting.  You might listen to people like Oprah and believe that there is no shame in being a fat person.  That may be true, but remember that there is still always shame in being married to one.  You might love your fat body, but trust me when I tell you this, and I say this with nothing but love in my heart.  No one else does.

 

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