Pros and Cons to Reading Books, but Mostly Cons
Everyone knows that pretending to like to read books makes you sound smart, the same way using really big words and having a British accent does. Some people have even gone as far to say that actually reading books really does make you smarter. One mom even claims that reading improves vocabulary, enhances creativity, reduces stress, improves memory, and some other stuff that I forget right now. That is a great idea in theory. The only problem with is that reading also happens to be super boring and really gay.
Books don’t have awesome graphics, killcams, or kill counters like Call of Duty. You can’t kill steal cars and kills hooks like you can in Grand Theft Auto. Books don’t have any cool famous people like Jake and Logan Paul. The only famous people you can read about in books now are the most boring famous people of all, like Abe Lincoln and Jesus. I did find a book about super awesome pro wrestler/world saver, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson by Kim Bernal on Amazon. I was later saddened to find out that it was nothing more than an adult coloring book.
So what are children supposed to do to sound smart in this new modern age of cool shit like vlogs and video games? The answer to this question is quite shocking. Keep reading to learn more.
Sometime The Answers Are In A Riddle, Like In Batman Forever or Die Hard With a Vengeance
What does a man with no penis, a psychic, the world’s fattest man, a man with an 80 pound groin, polygamists, gypsies, people born without arms, a guy too fat to turn himself into a woman, women who have babies in their pants, women who have babies in public restrooms, giants, giant families, people attracted to inflatable whales, midgets, midget couples, midget cripples, midget cripple farmers, midget families, black ghost hunters, psychics, women from Alaska, people who eat of dumpsters, a merman, the world’s largest mustard collection, a pretty wedding dress, fat people, fat families, fat midgets, fat people who aren’t fat anymore, fat people who don’t even care that they are fat, The Amish, Pete Rose and Jamie Lynn Spears all have in common?
The Answer to the Question that Answered the Previous Question Asked Prior to This Question May Surprise You.
If you guessed that they are all people we all make fun of, well then you are only partially correct. It is true that these are people we all make fun of, but they are also people who have shows on The Learning Channel. Children can now finally act really smart without pretending to like books or brooding all the time.
Anything with the word “Learning” in the title always makes you sound smart, the same wearing glasses and going to Starbucks does. Hearing a child say, “I am going to put on my glasses, grab a Starbucks and watch something on The Learning Channel,” sounds way smarter than if they says, “I am going to play Call of Duty and not do my homework.”
Now I don’t know for sure if we are really learning anything from a guy making out with an inflatable whale, or a sassy toddler who plays with her belly fat, or even a really fat guy eating pizza with his shirt off, but I guess it’s like the old saying goes, “Awesome shit on T.V. will always be way better than learning stuff, bro.”